burgulars

by Peter Goulding

Out now - A Flash of Orange, a selection of humorous verse from the sidelines. Over 65 poems. 100pp. A miserly €10. Not a swear word in sight, though several of the poems might stray into the territory of 'black humour.' Post and packing free to anywhere in the known world (P and p extra to the unknown world) All personally signed too... I work in a warehouse which as you can imagine is very stimulating. I follow Shelbourne FC and football in general. Happily married for over 20 years to Monica with two great no-longer kids, Louise and Neil. All poems and articles on these sites are copyright Peter Goulding. Permission is given to use any of them providing due acknowledgement is given. In “The Annals of Polperro,” the ancient Cornish saga which may or may not have been written by a practical joker in the 1950s, the inhabitants of the tiny coastal village of Burgle were often to be found leaving their neighbours’ houses with armfuls of cauldrons, chickens and tawdry peasant garb. They were so proficient in this enterprise that the term ‘burglar’ became synonymous with house-breaking. To counteract burglars, society has had to become more and more technologically minded down through the years. For decades, the simple operation of installing a front door confounded all but the cleverest thief, and when the key and lock were invented –at around the same time as each other – it appeared that the burglary trade was on its knees. The Great Burglary Symposium in Seattle in 1932 finally got the industry to shake off its lethargy with the publication of a number of startling findings. Windows, for examples, were found to break when struck by a hammer. It was reported that ladders could be used for gaining access to upper storey windows. And traditional burglar’s accoutrements of hooped sweater, mask and bag marked ‘Swag’ were not necessarily vital components of the house-breaker’s armoury. Today of course...

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